kiva

my good friend ellen reminded me of kiva.org today an how cool microeconomics can be. when i checked them out about 4-5 months ago after reading about them in bill clinton's book, "giving,", they had such an overwhelming response from lenders that they couldn't keep up at that time with enough entreprenuers. i'm happy to see that they've been able to catch up and that they have a large list of entrepreneurs benefiting from the generosity of others around the globe Ma. Reyes is the entrepreneur that i've selected to give a loan to. she lives in tampico, mexico and sells sandwiches and tacos from a food stand. she is married and has six children.
i personally selected Ma. Reyes because:
- she appears to be a hard working woman that has a family to support
- she believes in herself to make a successful business
- she is a cook of one of the most wonderful foods on earth, the taco
- i have some money to spare, and i'd hope that someone would do the same for me if i was in her shoes

it's also super cool that kiva offers gift certificates, so you know what you're getting from me for your birthday this year! you can watch your loan help someone grow their business, quite simply, better than a chia pet by about 100 fold!

mama's blue booty got back

nike calls them the "perfect pant." now imagine a pair just as in this photo, but instead of the blue stripe at the top the entire pant is blue, electric blue. this ross find stays at the bottom of my workout apparel drawer as i'm not usually feeling electric enough to wear them.

i hopped out of bed this morning and threw on my pair of blue workout pants since all of my other workout clothes were in the dirty laundry. i run out the door and get to my bus stop, set my bag down at the bus stop and i'm rumaging through it looking for my phone when i hear this man scream "wooooo wheeeee! lookin' good there mama!" i just have time to whip around and give him a glare as he drove by, realizing that he didn't even know what my face looked like. whatever. i get on the bus, and as i'm nearing my stop, i get up preemptively, sit back down, wait a minute. get up again to get off of the bus at the next stop and this woman, about the same age as me, dressed fashionably funky stands up, taps me on the shoulder and says "excuse me, i know this is going to sound weird, but you have a nice butt." not understanding correctly i said "whaaaa?" and she says "you have a nice butt." several people seated around hear this. i have time for a "thank you" and i dart off the bus, running down the street to my gym with a big smile on my face. i guess that buffalo butt that runs in (my)mama's family never looked so perfect.

good grief

this has happened many times through my work. i am talking with someone about their life and they say "my brother died and i can't believe he's gone. it happened just before christmas." shocked and sympathetic, i respond "oh i am so sorry. how terrible! just a few weeks ago, that is really difficult." the person almost always responds "oh no, he died 8 years ago (or 14 years ago, or the longest i think i've heard is 24 years ago) right before christmas."

i am reminded time and time again how long lasting grief can be. how even when it's dormant it can still effect your day-to-day. it pops up at the wackiest of times, even years later, when your subconscious is triggered by an anniversary date, a movie, a song, a smell.

with all of my recent changes, especially moving out of my apartment that i shared with my exhusband, a place that held so much significance in the way of firsts, making a home, starting a new life together, only for the marriage to be over a short three years later, it's been surprisingly difficult. i thought that this would leave me feeling refreshed, happy, renewed, to be moving out of the place that i shared with him. and i do feel some of that, but grief and saddness is what overshadows it for now.




losing a childhood friend and classmate last month also threw more into my subconscious grief vault. i've thought about shane, and his wife, family and close friends daily. i've cried, i went through the initial shock, but here it is, the grief that remains.



"The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief -
But the pain of grief
Is only a shadow
When compared with the pain
Of never risking love.”
- Hilary Stanton Zunin

anti-housewarming

Q: what's better than inviting your friends over to your new pad, showing off a bit, and drinking the wonderful bottles of wine that they so generously bring? A: dressing up in tacky sweaters, drinking all of the liquor leftover at your old place, and selling all of your crap to your friends in an everything-must-go auction
saturday night was my moveout sale, besides the 1 cent grab bag room (or 5 items for 6 cents) friends grabbed up my higher end items, including this old fashioned popcorn popper
there were some pretty high bids, especially for the vintage condoms
i did have a special treat for the winner of the sweater contest. frugal tupperware, worth almost . . . nothing!

congo

An organization that I support, Women for Women International, was recently featured in a 60 minutes story about the war in the Congo. Anderson Cooper is the journalist in the 12 minute video. It is graphic at times, with Anderson Cooper interviewing victims of war, but I feel like it is important enough to share.
Since I began my involvement with Women for Women about 2 years ago, I have been matched with three different "sisters." My current sister is about to graduate from the program and I am sending her my farewell letter and congratulations. I have a photo of her, and she has shared with me her ability to purchase a goat, and this goat is her family's livelihood. When I look at this photo above, I wonder, is that her?
It has been eye opening to say the least, and even though I'm a bleeding heart Social Worker, I have looked into this program with skepticism, but I can honestly say that it appears to be very much legitimate and real. (Oprah and Anderson approved!) I've learned a lot from these women's experiences, about their children, about what brings them joy and how they are able to support their families.
I read in the newspaper yesterday that the leader of one of the most brutal militia groups in the Congo signed a new peace agreement, along with many other leaders, after 2 weeks of discussions. I can only hope that peace prevails.

trifecta

3 is my lucky number. i'm not sure how all of this adds up:

costa rica surf camp + meeting christina (founder of poletential)+ discussions about strong women in the world and their poletential (insert sister j. and modmix) = party with fellow surfer + her pole studio + modmix martini in hand!

the trifecta of good fortune and a good time!

slim pickins

many married friends have recently expressed their joy in living vicariously through me. life is good indeed, with many single-again firsts and do overs. i'm settled into my new pad in the city and had some time to go online man shopping. i will gladly accept offers from those same friends to really take my place on these date/date offers.

i've included four pics for bachelor #1. sister S. had this to say: "So THAT'S what they do in the back room down at Tina's Nail Spa Salon."





i normally would not go out with a guy that has a photo of himself with a female, but this adult prom-like photo is a classy snapshot. even if it is his former girlfriend, they are obviously not together anymore. could it have been that sailboat tie?

i'm not so sure about a 30 something dude that adds "licious" to the end of his name and has a bare chested photo. eye candy indeed, other than that, this is what sister J. had to say: is he in a boy band? "tell me why-eee...ain't nothin' but a heartache...tell me why-ee....ain't nothin' but a big mistake...."